worthless rage

From the morning when I rise from my bed
Till the evening, when I lay my head in slumber
Oh, the loss of you does wreck my days
Leaves me with a violent hunger
I will never be free from you
Till I escape the lions jaw
There's no welcome in the end
There's no reason to return, again

-Mirah

lately it seems that i have been very worked up
not simply because of the criticization of my friend by Chris, who i equally care about,
but just the pressures of everyday life and the difficulty of having a relationship with someone who doesn't share some of your views,
and the arguments that ensue from that.
the constant struggle of being critiqued by and compared to her by not only myself,
but the increasing feeling of worthlessness is creeping up on me like a deathly shadow in the night.

i'm not sure where all of my rage is coming from, nor of where an appropriate outlet to put all of it is.
i would just love for things to work out
and if not
for me to find someone with enough similar beliefs that we are not in a state of arguing and hurt feelings about twice a week.

i love him, yet it seems doomed to failure
i feel so constricted
and pathetic in my feeble attempt to try and keep him

self portrait

raven:


stitches:


scratches on my shoulder:


chains:
sxc.hu

model and lips:
(me)